Weak ties are where intros come from

The intro you need almost never comes from your best friend in the industry. It comes from someone you worked with once, six years ago, who'd still pick up the phone.

Close contacts know the same people you know. That's what makes them close. Weak ties sit in different rooms.

Why close ties run dry

Think about the ten people you'd call first. Former colleagues from your last firm. A couple of clients you've stayed friends with. Your own partners.

They overlap. They went to the same events and work in the same corner of the market. When you ask them who they know at a target account, you mostly hear names you already have.

And you've asked them before. Close ties get tapped for every deal, and over time the favors feel heavier.

Who counts as a weak tie

A weak tie is someone who'd recognize your name and think well of you, but who you haven't talked to in years. A peer from a client engagement years back. Someone who was on a panel with you. A former direct report who's moved into another industry. An old classmate who ended up in finance.

These people have spent years building their own networks in places you've never been. That's the point. They connect you to new rooms.

They're more willing than you'd guess. People like making a useful introduction for someone they remember fondly. It costs them a short note and it makes them look connected.

Finding the path

Start from the account, not from your contact list. Pick a target where signals are stacking. A new leader in the seat, a cost program in the 10-K, job posts for the work you do.

Then look at who the buyer and the people around them are connected to. On LinkedIn, second degree connections are where weak ties show up. Look past the obvious names. The person who shares three connections with your buyer and once worked with you on a project you both remember is often a better path than the famous partner you met once.

Check how the tie runs. Did your contact actually work alongside the buyer, or are they just linked? A shared employer in overlapping years is strong. A random connection from a conference is not.

A scenario

Say you want to reach the new COO of a regional healthcare network. Your close ties have nothing.

But a project manager who reported to you years ago now runs operations at a hospital system in the same state. She overlapped with the COO at a previous employer for four years. You haven't talked since. You did write her a strong reference once.

That's your path. Not the managing director you have lunch with every quarter.

How to ask a weak tie

Reconnect first, honestly and briefly. Don't pretend you've been thinking about them every day. Say you saw their move, it looked like a good one, and you have a specific ask.

Then make the ask small. Write the note they'd forward, three or four sentences, so they don't have to compose anything. Tell them it's fine to say no. A weak tie owes you nothing, and the easiest way to lose one is to make the favor feel like work. The post on making it easy to say no goes deeper on that.

If they don't know the buyer well enough, they'll say so. Believe them. A forwarded note from someone who barely knows the buyer doesn't help, and it can hurt.

Keep the ties warm

Weak ties decay when you only show up with asks. Spend a few minutes a week congratulating someone on a move, commenting on a post you actually liked, sending an article that fits something they care about.

None of it needs a reason. That's what makes it work when you need the intro later. Building a network before you need it covers the habit.

And give before you get. Make intros for other people. Answer the former colleague who wants advice on a job offer. The weak ties you help are the ones who come through when your name lands in their inbox with an ask attached.

Your next big deal is probably two people away. The bridge is someone you haven't thought about in years.