How to ask for an intro people actually forward

Most intro asks die in the connector's inbox. They want to help. You've handed them a writing assignment instead.

The ask that gets forwarded is the one the connector can send in ten seconds without editing a word.

Why asks stall

Say a former colleague knows the CFO at a regional healthcare network you've been targeting. You send a note. "Hey, saw you're connected to the CFO over at the healthcare network. Would you be open to introducing us? We help companies with finance transformation and I think there could be a fit."

Then nothing happens. And it's not that your colleague said no. They read it, thought "sure, I'll write something later," and later never came.

Look at what you asked for. They have to decide how to describe you. They have to explain why the CFO should care. They have to guess what you'd want to say. They have to put their own name on a pitch they didn't write. That's twenty minutes of thought and a small reputational bet. For a favor.

The fix is to do all of that work for them.

Two notes, not one

A good intro ask is two pieces of writing.

The first is the note to the connector. It's short, it's personal, and it makes the ask plain. The second is the note they'll forward. It's written to the buyer, it stands on its own, and it reads well coming from someone else's inbox.

The connector's job shrinks to reading your forwardable note, deciding it's fine, and hitting forward with one line on top. "Worth a look, I've known this guy for years."

That's the whole favor. Small enough to do between meetings.

The note to the connector

Keep it to four or five sentences. Say who you want to reach and why now. Give them an easy out. Tell them exactly what you'd like them to do.

Something like this. "I'm trying to reach the CFO at the healthcare network. They just announced a cost program and I've got a specific idea about where the savings could come from. I've written a short note below that you could forward if you're comfortable. If you'd rather not, no problem at all, and I won't go around you."

That last line matters. You're telling them you won't cold-email the buyer and drop their name. People forward more freely when they know they keep control.

The note they forward

This is where most people get lazy, and it's where the intro is won or lost.

Write it as if the buyer will read it with no context. Assume they'll skip the connector's line on top. It has to work alone.

Use the same structure as a cold opener. A research hook, why it matters to them in their seat, the problem you suspect, and a question they can answer fast. The full structure is on the method page. Here's what it looks like when it's built to be forwarded.

I noticed the cost program announced in your last quarterly filing, with administrative spend called out. As the CFO who'll own that number, you're probably being asked for savings that don't touch patient care. My guess is the revenue cycle is where the real money sits, and the current systems make it hard to see. Is that right, or is the pressure coming from somewhere else?

Four sentences. No company overview. No case study list. No calendar link.

It's specific enough that the CFO knows you've done the work, and short enough that the connector doesn't feel like they're forwarding spam.

What to leave out

Leave out anything that makes the connector vouch for something they can't vouch for. "His firm is the best at cloud migrations" puts words in their mouth. Let them say what they actually know, which is usually "good person, worth a reply."

Leave out attachments. Decks don't get forwarded. They get stuck.

Leave out the meeting ask. The forwarded note should end on the binary exit, the same as a cold opener. If the buyer replies, you'll have plenty of room to suggest a call. I wrote more about that last line in The binary exit question.

When it doesn't happen

Give it a week. Then send one short follow-up to the connector. "No pressure on this, just checking it didn't get buried."

If that doesn't move it, let it go. Thank them. Don't make it weird.

Then go direct. Warm before cold doesn't mean warm or nothing. It means you try the path with trust built in first, and you keep the cold option for when the warm one stalls. Your direct note can use the same hypothesis you wrote for the forward. You've already done the research.

Don't mention the connector in the cold note. You said you wouldn't go around them, and dropping their name without permission does exactly that.

Why it's worth the effort

A warm intro reaches a senior buyer with someone's trust attached. In services, you're asking a buyer to bet a six-figure budget on people they haven't met. That trust does more work than any line you could write.

But only if the intro actually goes out. And it goes out when you've made forwarding it the easiest thing in your connector's day.

Write both notes. Make the second one stand alone. Give the connector an out and mean it.