No more "given your role
Stage 1 retired "Given your role as" from every draft. The personal line now comes from where they came from, their time in the seat or what they own, or it's left out.
· 2 min read
"Given your role as Senior Vice President, Software Engineering" is the sound of a mail merge. A title dropped into a slot tells the reader nobody looked.
Stage 1 doesn't write it anymore.
What it writes instead
The second line of an opener is meant to be about the person. Stage 1 now picks it in this order.
Where they came from. "You came over from Ironbridge, so you've seen how this plays out somewhere else."
Their time in the seat. "The first year in a new seat is usually when the roadmap you inherited gets rewritten."
What they own. "The core systems are yours, so this lands on your desk first."
And when Stage 1 knows none of it, the line goes. The hook carries the message on its own, which beats a line that sounds like a form.
Their own words lead whenever the signal is something they said, a post, a headline or a podcast. Quoting someone back is the most personal line there is.
Caught before it goes
The checklist on every draft now flags "Given your role", "In your role" and sentences that open with "As" followed by a title. Edit the line or approve it knowing it's there.
Titles that read clean
LinkedIn titles get long. "Sr. Director, Data Curation & Data Products Ownership (thru Feb 2025)" shows on the Desk as Sr. Director, Data Curation. Pipes, diamonds, "@ Company" and second titles come off.
And when the title itself says the role ended, the card says so before you approve, with a button to take them off the account.
Why it matters
Senior buyers read the first two lines and decide. One line that could only be about them earns the third.
For the shape of the whole opener, see the four-part first message and personalization that isn't flattery.